Out of the Ordinary
Hi, I’m Sian. I’m mostly known as The Mad Hatter on my social media. I spread awareness on many things: DCD, Asd, Tics etc I personally struggle with and bring awareness to it. I also sometimes spread awareness to the mental health side of things too.
In primary I was bullied due to simply the fact I was different. I had a few friends but not many. Lots of kids found me ‘weird’ because I had a massive imagination and that meant I would often be found on my own because they just didn’t understand it.
They also would pick at me for how much less food I would put on my plate or have in my pack lunch.
Teachers started to realise I was different too. I was behind everyone else and I didn’t understand ‘simple’ things like time, dates or even ‘easy’ questions, that everyone was getting but me. At that time I didn’t notice or care.
The teachers got me a help assistant. This made me notice I was different I felt very alienated and often unheard. I had so much potential to give and so much to offer. But no one saw that. They just saw everything I sucked at. I was later diagnosed with Dyspraxia which stands for (Develop Cor-ordination Disorder)
This disorder made it hard for me to write the ‘correct way’ which I later found out in life there is no correct way to write. You can write however you feel comfortable.
It also made it hard for me to cor-ornate or even wear certain clothing. Because what came with my DCD was sensory issues too.
Since it effected my cor-or-nation it also meant I couldn’t ride a bike. I had to use a certain fork to eat and it can effect my talking sometimes too.
Later rolling into Secondary school everything really went down hill from there. I developed severe anxiety and panic attacks to the point I would have these panic attacks every single day.
It was the most hardest times in my life. I had made some really cool friendships. I met my best friend in that school and she was such a humble, kind and genuine person.
I developed really severe Depression because of my panic attacks. I isolated myself and didn’t want anything to do with anyone. I felt lonely, different and I didn’t like that. My depression also made everything blurry. I suffered very badly with my eating at this time too.
Although secondary was the first time I had ever felt like I belonged somewhere and accepted. I was still failing classes because of my anxiety. I was later diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder. But secretly I’ve always known I was Autistic. It was just putting a label on it.
A few months after my panic attacks calmed down and I was able to attend classes like normal and I loved it. The teachers would always tell me how clever I was which in Primary the teachers never did.
I also experienced my first ever heartbreak but no hard feelings because it’s given me so much strength I need for this world.
After Secondary I went to college. The staff members were amazing but sometimes expected more of us that we couldn’t sometimes give, one student in particular who was my boyfriend at the time. would throw a lot of emotional abuse at me quit a lot and it really made my self-esteem go down hill. They would remind me how ‘stupid I was’ daily.
But finally they broke things off 3 days after Valentine’s Day. Around this time I developed my Tics and it was really hard. But I’ll speak about about my Tics another time. Finally this November I’m going to my first neurologist appointment.
Now I am starting my new college. I am studying to be a Zoologist due to my love for animals. I have a Lizard called Wallace he’s a cool dude and he’s my best friend. I also have rodents but we would be here all day if I told you all their names. One day I had up to fourteen Gerbils. I don’t have that many now. I also have a puppy. She’s loving in her own way to say the least.
I’m also a writer because of my autism. I write my own little stories and show the world my strange and usual imagination. Autism also gives me some kind of superpowers because I can remember or see any little detail.
Although my Autism still effects me especially with the different side of things. I’m here to show you that being usual or out of the ordinary is actually a really cool thing and you shouldn’t be ashamed. You’re really cool.
I know Autism has its pros and cons. I know I’ll have it for life but I am proud to be a Atypical. It makes me who I am. All my quirks, facts and irreverent questions makes me, me! and I think that’s really beautiful.
My Asd has gotten me through so much in this world and it’s helped me find who I am as a person. I am now eighteen years old following my dreams.
I did have to give a lot of things up because of my tics and autism. But I’ve finally found my happiness. and I couldn’t be more happier, and for my eating side of things I still
struggle but I’m taking it baby steps.
Thank you for listening:)
I hope I didn’t ramble too much <3
also this is me and Wallace:)