New kid

Trigger warning: Bullying, tics, ableism, stress, mention of tourettes, feeling lost, mentions of faking disability.


I am unsure how to start this but recently I have developed tics. I have had them for a month or so now and there are a lot of things I have noticed. I know I can not be the only one to think having just developed tics is scary and confusing. You never know if they will go away or get worse or at least what is causing it. It is sort of annoying that there is this cliche of everyone that tics has Tourette's Syndrome. Every single undereducated person just pins that cliche onto you and it just reminds you that it is too early to diagnose really anything. Another crappy thing about experiencing this period of time of getting used to your new condition is that you have everyone suddenly pushing their opinions, views and ableism onto you. "Oh, I accept you, I'm okay with it" "That's cool, I wish I had that so I could get away with swearing" "What are you doing??" "Okay… just don't let it affect me", "Do you have tourettes?" All of these questions and opinions are dumped with worry or warning and you have to find a way to handle your tics and your new reputation. People are so undereducated about these things. I have people asking me if I have tourettes as if I have had it for years and other people watched me have a tic attack and thought I was faking and mocked me. "That's obviously fake" "Why do you fake tics?" "People don't just develop tics in 2 days" "You just need to train your brain" are just a few things that have been said to me. This is caused by the stigma made by ableism. People believe tics are limited when they can be any movement or sound/ word/ phrase. People think that I fake tics because of the kids on Tiktok who faked for clout and attention. Someone thinks that I developed moderate tics in 2 days when that person did not notice the calm ones weeks before. A grown adult believes that tics are just an impulse thing and it is not involuntary and that they know best. The heavy ableism around tics and tourettes is a lot to put on a minor who is already going through issues and is now having to deal with a new condition that can be embarrassing, painful and self-destructive. As I am writing this draft, I currently have a bruise on my wrist a little bigger than my whole thumb from a tic that makes me hit the table in front of me at school. This tic has, even though people understand I can not help it and that hitting tables hurts, made people tell me to stop hitting the tables because it is audible to their ears and could possibly be slightly annoying. Not that it causes them pain or that they can't concentrate or it triggers them/ makes them uncomfortable hearing someone hit a table, just at most it's an inconvenience to them I have always been disgusted at people bullying a person for something outside of their control and I still am, maybe even more so; I have been bullied before and it caused a complete personality change in me so having an awareness of people gossiping and spreading rumours and talking about me behind my back is triggering and really stressful. I have a lost a friend, some mutuals, my peers' respect and any confidence I had left and I don't even get a diagnosis to help my situation. I don't want anyone to feel like this which is why I made my page to help educate able-bodied people and people new to tics. There are plenty of things you can do to help your tics, watch tv, make some art, talk to someone, play your favourite game, sing, dance, do yoga. Suppression makes them worse so you need to remember that tics are like waves, you can try to stop them but they are calmer when you let them pass. I want you to know that if you have recently developed tics, you are not alone. ❤️

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