Updated: Jul 5
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Disclaimer: This discussion is bout my own personal feelings towards the comments that are associated with these conditions. I'm fortunate enough to have not found myself in extreme circumstances that can develop severe health conditions such as anorexia nervosa or bulimia, but I do have a lot of respect for the many people who suffer with such conditions. CONTAINS STRONG LANGUAGE.
"You need to start eating!" - Alas! The answer I've been searching for! (Sarcasm implied)
In the 23 years of my life I have, for lack of a better word, endured through multiple diagnoses. Spinabifida occulta; Tourette's syndrome; anaemia. A seemingly, never-ending chain of labels bestowed upon me to create an identity. However, to me, the most affective conditions are my "undiagnosed" ones such as, anxiety & depression. But, in this post I wanted to focus on my "fast metabolism" and the comments that have accompanied it my entire life.
"Why are you so skinny?" - Not a fucking clue... Science, maybe?
In my teens, I feel like I could see it as a positive thing as I wanted to avoid ridicule from other kids. I was on the rugby team, the football team, every team - Still didn't have a relationship until I was 17. Puberty introduced me to mental health and allowed me to collect data on what seemed to trigger my anxiety. The harmless became harmful. The opportunities became threats. It felt like a constant need for fear and the overthinking definitely didn't help. Have you ever been scared to take a risk? - That's how I felt, every single day.
To some people, having a fast metabolism can be a God send. Unfortunately, for me, it is a curse. A curse that has rested in the back of my mind for some time now. For the majority of that time, I have brushed it aside; It wasn't until I transitioned into adulthood that it really began to affect me. The constant questioning on my health and appearance felt like an attack. An attack of unknown proportions. Do people think I enjoy looking unhealthy? - Let me help you with that... I don't.
"You just need to eat more!" - That's really not how this works...
I'm 23-years-old and 135 pounds; that's not good. I've tried many times to put weight on, but it never seems to stay on. Where the fuck does it go?!
"You look ill!" - Thanks for the confidence boost, bro.
Now that I have transitioned into adulthood I can see that it isn't going nowhere and, in some respects, that's not a bad thing as it makes me feel confident around my girlfriend, Laura. Sometimes I do think that I'd be a lot cuddlier with a "Dad-bod", Hmm. In my case, the cons of having a "high metabolism" outweigh the pros from a mental standpoint. I just want to feel good in myself, without people noticing that they are able to connect their thumb and finger around my arm. It also doesn't help when you are both skinny and suffer from Anemia - I just look so pale and unwell.
"Wow, you really don't weigh anything!" - Make me feel emasculated...Check! (Sarcasm also implied)
This discussion is not about building a ego, it is about shining light on things that you shouldn't say to people. If we can't call someone "fat" or "overweight" then the latter should not default to an alternative. Every condition comes with a label these days and maybe they'll never go away, but does that mean we shouldn't try to educate others?
"Skinny bitch" - How very creative; did you think of that yourself?
"Twig" - Excellent observation! (I'm sure I don't need to tell you that sarcasm was implied here...)
"French fry!" - That one was kinda creative, I'll give you that one.
"I bet I could lift you" - I'm sure you can sir/madam.
If you were to leave here with some advice; I'd have to quote my dear friend. "Don't be a dick!" - Dom Smith.
Thank you for reading - I'm honestly just another average nerd but I appreciate your time.
I just want to be cuddly - haha!