Id like to think that my story, long as it may be to tell, will inspire others. Life does not stop because of a diagnosis, life starts when you make yourself not let it define you. This wont be able to happen every day, bad days will come, but isn't that what makes the good days so damn enjoyable? All my posts will contain trigger warnings, this first post includes a warning of : car crashes, brain damage, hospitals, anxiety, ptsd, ticcs and medication, and injuries. Please do not read if you feel this will upset you in anyway, the start isnt pretty and as for the ending..well that is yet to be shown to me by life.
So, my dear readers. Allow me to begin my introduce myself.
At 22 years old, a girl lived her dream, she was coming home from an agency party after just landing a job, coming back from an oversea's trip doing what she loved, singing. She never dreamed that night at 11.45pm december 14th, she would be involved in a car accident that would change her life. Forever, never the same.
Which brings us to me. Hi, im ally. I have adult onset Tourrettes, complex PTSD, manic depression and anxiety, dissasosiation, short term memory loss, left occular permanent damage , post concussion syndrome, seizures, and more ill get onto later. I am on an academic excellence scholarship for secondary teaching with a HD average so i can one day teach children with disabilites, my new path in life of which i am incredibly proud of, because it shows that no matter what, i can do it. I have two pugs, poppy and pebbles and am currently saving for a therapy dog for my disabilities. I have a passion for poetry, fantasy genre books, gaming, animals, working with children and being creative, it helps me escape from time to time. My tic's include motor and verbal, i also have self striking and self harming tic's , those..those are the hard days. Its taken me a while to realise it does not just affect me, but the loved ones around me who care for me.
TW: PICTURE'S CONTAINS CUTS DONE DURING TICS I have a scarred face from where i have cut it, and no memory of doing so, but THEY do,that hurts more than any cut or bruise i give myself, but i cannot hold onto it, because that guilt will eat me alive, if they can forgive me, why cannot i forgive myself? Well , truthfully i do not have the answer, but every night i go to bed and say sorry to myself, and say i forgive you. sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesnt, but that doesn't mean we give up trying EVERY DAY.
You aren't defined by what a doctor writes on a piece of paper, you are defined by getting back up when you're knocked down, and this week i was knocked down very far and very hard. My next post is going to include my coping devices and my unconventional therapy,its going to be helpful i hope, to many readers. Thanks for letting me introduce myself, Remember to forgive yourself, at the end of the day you have done nothing wrong, you are you, all you ever needed to be. My instagram of my personal journey if you wish to follow is @_oh.boy.its.ally_ , thank you for everything, for reading this far, and for letting me have a place to talk. Everyday, you wake up stronger than yesterday. Until next post, Ally.